I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
