thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize