Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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