either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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