I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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