I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
