I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm both gender and math confused
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
