Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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