Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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