It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
