Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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