a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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