so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
