She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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