so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
