i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
