just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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