it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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