honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
