I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
