Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
