woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs