Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet

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  (651): Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet http://tfl.nu/4bkm
  Replies (6) Good night (740) Bad night (1128)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all

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  (407): so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all http://tfl.nu/8geg
  Replies (14) Good night (637) Bad night (2405)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers

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  (702): i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers http://tfl.nu/2g28
  Replies (3) Good night (2611) Bad night (466)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now

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  (985): for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now http://tfl.nu/fzln
  Replies (59) Good night (872) Bad night (4669)
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  (818): View more from California

  So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice

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  (818): So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice http://tfl.nu/dh5p
  Replies (94) Good night (9025) Bad night (853)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.

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  (414): no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good. http://tfl.nu/zhbu
  Replies (23) Good night (5738) Bad night (1149)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

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  (847): I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire http://tfl.nu/ncts
  Replies (10) Good night (5078) Bad night (1605)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.

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  (817): In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles. http://tfl.nu/ov1n
  Replies (14) Good night (1363) Bad night (4569)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are

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  (773): Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are http://tfl.nu/he1z
  Replies (6) Good night (894) Bad night (806)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.

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  (215): I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets. http://tfl.nu/wd0k
  Replies (11) Good night (1585) Bad night (849)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.

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  (425): I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/vl0d
  Replies (7) Good night (1670) Bad night (556)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's hard to explain...

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  (330): We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar. (330): It's hard to explain... http://tfl.nu/5wi2
  Replies (6) Good night (646) Bad night (315)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude you're not even a fucking science major

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  (717): Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture (410): dude you're not even a fucking science major http://tfl.nu/vino
  Replies (4) Good night (1133) Bad night (347)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED

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  (205): I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED http://tfl.nu/p5zl
  Replies (5) Good night (303) Bad night (570)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?

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  (720): Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps? http://tfl.nu/e9bv
  Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (217)

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