Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"

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  (401): I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes" http://tfl.nu/jvdp
  Replies (14) Good night (4928) Bad night (717)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together

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  (410): Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together http://tfl.nu/isyr
  Replies (12) Good night (5412) Bad night (1247)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  I'll google it

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  (908): You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time (1-908): I'll google it http://tfl.nu/bsan
  Replies (22) Good night (5146) Bad night (1785)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.

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  (501): First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come. http://tfl.nu/qjzy
  Replies (11) Good night (3528) Bad night (1285)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.

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  (713): She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this. http://tfl.nu/8bwv
  Replies (13) Good night (898) Bad night (3903)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.

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  (641): My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning. http://tfl.nu/bmvl
  Replies (8) Good night (2301) Bad night (980)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.

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  (228): you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out. http://tfl.nu/9xp5
  Replies (19) Good night (3907) Bad night (1486)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today

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  (605): You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today http://tfl.nu/jljr
  Replies (4) Good night (2598) Bad night (1061)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.

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  (513): well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process. http://tfl.nu/0h10
  Replies (5) Good night (1807) Bad night (1190)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sounds like a normal friday night

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  (443): Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan. (410): Sounds like a normal friday night http://tfl.nu/c2vx
  Replies (2) Good night (2070) Bad night (986)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.

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  (502): I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can. http://tfl.nu/7z31
  Replies (4) Good night (1746) Bad night (922)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast

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  (940): I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast http://tfl.nu/pow4
  Replies (4) Good night (1341) Bad night (507)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.

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  (734): The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes. http://tfl.nu/6htc
  Replies (2) Good night (823) Bad night (493)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.

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  (651): I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/6otb
  Replies (4) Good night (1035) Bad night (554)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS

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  (609): Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS http://tfl.nu/rllj
  Replies (3) Good night (422) Bad night (653)

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