Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.

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(203): You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi. http://tfl.nu/yrsa

Replies (15) Good night (3153) Bad night (605)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards

(1-515): View more from Iowa

None

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(515): I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards (1-515): None http://tfl.nu/5j7f

Replies (17) Good night (3328) Bad night (757)
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(917): View more from New York City

well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'

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(917): well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv' http://tfl.nu/bicf

Replies (49) Good night (11089) Bad night (812)
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(317): View more from Indiana

and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way

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(317): and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way http://tfl.nu/pn6a

Replies (20) Good night (10447) Bad night (1178)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.

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(267): he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice. http://tfl.nu/aht5

Replies (14) Good night (5141) Bad night (950)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?

(810): View more from Michigan

shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you

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(907): I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone? (810): shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you http://tfl.nu/u0b0

Replies (13) Good night (2359) Bad night (713)
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(407): View more from Florida

Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.

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(407): Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30. http://tfl.nu/fgkn

Replies (13) Good night (755) Bad night (1156)
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(410): View more from Maryland

You threw up with your ski mask on still.

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(410): You threw up with your ski mask on still. http://tfl.nu/wyp5

Replies (8) Good night (576) Bad night (2254)
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(626): View more from California

Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?

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(626): Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester? http://tfl.nu/lq06

Replies (22) Good night (4447) Bad night (1092)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.

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(508): I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate. http://tfl.nu/ga8b

Replies (8) Good night (574) Bad night (927)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?

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(+44): He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks? http://tfl.nu/sa4o

Replies (8) Good night (686) Bad night (300)
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(713): View more from Texas

Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.

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(713): Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off. http://tfl.nu/4xox

Replies (7) Good night (917) Bad night (418)
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(661): View more from California

You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.

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(661): You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint. http://tfl.nu/10tx

Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (211)
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(801): View more from Utah

I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.

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(801): I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta. http://tfl.nu/x5wu

Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (338)
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(425): View more from Washington

I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me

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(425): I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me http://tfl.nu/ceiy

Replies (8) Good night (282) Bad night (811)

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