She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
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I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?