Texts From Last Night

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  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?

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  (239): Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed? http://tfl.nu/9or7
  Replies (7) Good night (822) Bad night (2408)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer

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  (201): we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer http://tfl.nu/68pg
  Replies (39) Good night (2929) Bad night (761)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming

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  (765): that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming http://tfl.nu/05mh
  Replies (2) Good night (2069) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

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  (954): I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else. http://tfl.nu/idx6
  Replies (14) Good night (2522) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?

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  (315): You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery? http://tfl.nu/9jay
  Replies (42) Good night (5727) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.

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  (217): i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood. http://tfl.nu/a0o1
  Replies (35) Good night (5335) Bad night (1860)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"

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  (707): then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure" http://tfl.nu/54yc
  Replies (15) Good night (1411) Bad night (3967)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.

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  (540): Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them. http://tfl.nu/zz58
  Replies (7) Good night (1111) Bad night (2221)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."

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  (601): You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka." http://tfl.nu/g6um
  Replies (6) Good night (3552) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.

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  (402): Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy. http://tfl.nu/5n13
  Replies (5) Good night (1706) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.

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  (612): I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket. http://tfl.nu/c7zs
  Replies (5) Good night (1556) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  How did you even find out?

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Oh.

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  (973): How did you even find out? (1-973): Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom." (973): Oh. http://tfl.nu/227x
  Replies (9) Good night (2775) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will

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  (313): Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will http://tfl.nu/g3an
  Replies (6) Good night (831) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.

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  (814): I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro. http://tfl.nu/ilnn
  Replies (1) Good night (698) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Come here I'm naked

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  And I want mozzarella sticks

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  (603): Come here I'm naked (603): And I want mozzarella sticks http://tfl.nu/pjoa
  Replies (3) Good night (592) Bad night (176)

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