you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.