Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
