so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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