FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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