please come you make the beer taste better
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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