okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
