It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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