Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
