sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
