i don't plan on having that self control this summer
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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