he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
did you just send me my own nude
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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