Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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