Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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