Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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