Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
