i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
