He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This baby is an asshole
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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