My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
