It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
