Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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