I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
