just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I enjoy the company of your penis
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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