CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
