why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
