It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
