Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I can't turn off my feet"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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