Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.