i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.