think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that