very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
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Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
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Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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