The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize