Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
