Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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