I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
