Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
