oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize