Non-Jews are for practice
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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