even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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