He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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